We tear up their delicate upholstery, feed them shoes, car keys and loose componentry, swear at them, and generally treat them with mistrust. Now it looks like Britain’s bogs may be planning a fight back that makes all those wheel grabs and endo’s look like a mere skirmish.

According to New Scientist Bogs have been collecting and hoarding stores of toxic heavy metals absorbed from our industrial atmosphere. Now we’re even threatening they’re soggy existence with global warming so they’re fighting back by releasing their poisonous arsenal.

According to the report heavy metals can interfere with soil microbes, kill insects, stunt the growth of plants and disable the gills of fish. Drying bogs will also oxidise sulphur pollution releasing sulphuric acid which will make the murky depths even more corrosive towards bike components.

There will be more details when the report is published by Scottish Natural Heritage in the spring, but until then treat our mossy, peaty patches with a bit more respect. They’re armed and dangerous you know.