Before we go any further, let us clarify something. This is not a race. This is not in any way an officially sanctioned event. We’re just telling you about it. That doesn’t mean we condone anything about it. If you take part and something bad happens, you didn’t hear it from us. Even though we might turn up ourselves.

Right, that said, over to disorganiser Charlie Hobbs:

The Clunker Classic is back! It’s a bit like DH rural robot wars. And this July we’re doing it all over again.

The Clunker Classic starts on Saturday 12th July with lunch in a nice pub, followed by a 5 mile ride/push/rest up 1700 feet to the top of Exmoor where we stop for more refreshments. It’s a Le Man race start followed by a 5 mile downhill, complete with technical sections, stream crossings and high speed whooping fire roads. The only rule is that you have to race on an old or inappropriate bike. We’re talking choppers, shoppers, postie bikes, beach cruisers, tandems, BMXs, anything but not a proper MTB.

To give you an indication of what to expect this year, last year:

• The weather was fantastic
• We had an international field of over half a dozen competitors
• We had a spectator
• Only three bikes rolled across the line – seven started.
• The guy who came third, ran the last two miles!
• The prize giving ceremony lasted until after closing time.
• No one died
• No one even went to casualty

No entry fees, no insurance, no medics, just a bunch of people on old bikes. Accommodation is “Springfield” a nice and basic campsite very near the village (no yellow people though). Pack a picnic for the top of the hill. Pack tools and spare tubes for the way down. Wear a helmet. Feel free to dress for the occasion. We even have a trophy and world championship status.

Everyone is welcome. If you fancy getting back to basics, all you need to do is root around in the shed/garage/skip/museum and get yourself either an old or inappropriate bike. I’m available on [email protected] if you fancy chatting about this.