They’ve already got a reputation for bombing those on the same side as them, now the Americans want to napalm our cattle. Thing is, it’s not so daft as it sounds.

Napalm – a mixture of diesel or petrol with polystyrene, adhesive or even soap flakes – has a fearsome wartime reputation but it was also used last year to burn cattle carcasses in an Anthrax outbreak in Nevada. As the mixture sticks to whatever you spray it on it’s extremely efficient, destroying a carcass in under an hour where conventional tyre wood and coal pyres can take up to 3 days. Flamethrowers can be used to boost burning power, and the mixture is not only safer to handle than pure diesel or petrol, and much easier to transport than wood, tyres and coal, but it doesn’t produce dangerous fuels and it’s remarkably cheap.

Unfortunately the MAFF doesn’t seem to be open to this highly efficient barbecue suggestion, saying “It is not an option that has been looked at so far.”

Thanks to the New Scientist for this one.