It’s a bit of a quiet day on the news front, so in traditional
silly season style, we thought we’d bring you a couple of sheepy
tales ‘Suicide Sheep Lands On Woman’ and ‘Stuffed Ram Raided…’

Apparently the Austrian sheep – we assume it’s Austrian because
that’s where the incident happened – hurled itself off a ten-metre
high bridge and landed on the head of a passing woman.

The woman survived, albeit bruised and battered, the sheep on the
other hand perished horribly. The sheep had escaped from a field and
was being pursued by a group of Austrian farmers – the very same who
dynamite dead cows – understandably, when cornered on the bridge, it
refused to give itself up and, instead, flung itself from the
parapet.

‘It actually jumped off 10 metres or so to the ground. It was
practically suicide.’ commented a local police inspector sheepishly.
Click
here for the full gory.

Meanwhile, closer to home, Larry, a stuffed Herdwick ram, which
has stood guard over a disinfectant mat at the gates of the Langdale
Hotel in the Lake District has been kidnapped.

The taxidermed sentry was bundled helplessly into the boot of a
car and driven off at speed after a witness reportedly heard a cry of
‘Let’s stuff him in the back of the car…’ Larry can apparently be
distinguished from other stuffed sheep by his friendly face – he was
given cosmetic surgery after his original visage made small children
cry.

The Langdale Hotel is anxious to secure Larry’s return. Curiously
the ex-sheep is valued at around £2000, which right now is a
hell of a lot more than his living relatives, and the hotel will not
press charges if he is returned safely. We reckon he’s been culled.
Full
story.