If you’re one of the unfortunates who discovered Body Geometry saddles too late, or have suffered intimately at the sharp end of a snapped seatpost, stop your high pitched whimpering and head for India.

Thousands of eunuchs are gathering for a conference to discuss their careers and political rights in a town near Lucknow (as in “don’t Lucknow I think I’ve just lost something important”) at the end of the month.

Although Indian eunnuchs (known as “Hijra”, trivia fans) are traditionally castrated at puberty we’re sure they wouldn’t mind a few who’ve recieved the modification accidentally turning up. The broad agenda includes creating a political agenda for those who haven’t had the balls to do it before, and career advice on the highly lucrative sari and make up wearing, bollywood karaoke wedding singer circuit.