Now are you sitting down for this?

Riding your mountain bike can be dangerous.
Yes we know, it came as a total suprise to us too. We thought the bruises,
scars and broken bits just happened afterwards when we were sleeping, but
according to top medical scientists we’re wrong.

Even more astounding is the suggested link between people arriving at
casualty, and people with serious injuries.

The report from the Royal Shrewsbury Hospital was published in the British
Journal of Sports Medicine, probably alongside groundbreaking articles such
as “Ill people more likely to die than healthy people”. It documents all the
injuries seen amongst mountain bikers admitted to Shrewsbury hospital.
Fractures, particularly collar bone and shoulder are top of the list, and
though the average age is 22 an age range from 8 – 71 (good on you old
fella).

Of course it doesn’t say anything about the fact that they didn’t have any
fatalities, (in fact is pretty much implied they were suprised) while people
riding on the road are killed regularly and said nothing about the massive
health benfits of the exercise involved. In fact every site we found the
story carried several links to “bikes make you impotent stories” which was
the last time mountain biking was of any interest to the couch planted
masses.

The report gravely states that: “Off-road cycling often involves travelling
at speed down steep often unpredictable inclines and through loose narrow
tracks covered in loose stone. “It is the excitement of this unpredictable
and dangerous challenge that motivates the predominantly young male
participants, and it is not surprising therefore that both the experienced
and the inexperienced rider will frequently fall.”

The BCF spokesman collared by the BBC news site commented “We’d advise all
cyclists to join one of the national cycling organisations.”, but then he
would.

Anyway looks like the media have got hold of this one, so those of you who
want more mountain biking on telly prepare yourself for a nice evening of
some 1980’s “You’ve been framed” crash clips tacked onto the end of most news
programmes. Hurrah!