Naoko Takahashi’s Olympic victory has been claimed to be due in part to her drinking the raw stomach juice of “Giant Killer Hornets” before and during the race.
Research done by the Japanese Institute of Physical and Chemical Research revealed that the 3″ flying fiend’s belly brew reduced muscular fatigue and “massively improved the body’s efficiency” in the insects and human testers.
The product is also currently 100% legal as it does not appear on the list of banned substances for international competition. There’s no clue as to how the juice is harvested, but a Japanese firm, – Meiji Milk products – has already licensed the technology to use in an energy drink.
With no scientific data yet published to support the claims we’ve initiated our own sophisticated extraction and testing procedure at our northern research laboratory. Now if we can only find a few more wasps, before they keel over with frostbite………
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