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Filthy animals face forestry exclusion orders

Never known for their scrupulous personal hygiene the great, unwashed student population is having their annual tribal gathering, the student championships in Hamsterley forest postponed until the risk of pestilence from within their ranks has been eliminated.


Already known to be carriers of virulent strains of athletes foot and foul mouth disease which has proved very upsetting to numerous old dears, the risk of them coming into contact with innocent sheep and cattle has been delayed until they can be disinfected en-masse with gallons of cheap beer.


Still at least it will give you a chance to get all those essays you should have finished ages ago done, and then you’ll have nowt to do when the crisis passes and the riding is back on again. Obviously we’ll bring you full details of the re-scheduled champs as soon as we hear them.


We’re still trying to confirm rumours of the possible postponing of the Spring Polaris event but nothing official has been heard from the organisers yet.


We’ll keep you fully informed of any other event postponements, if only so we can use the ‘NAMBS and SAMS postoned to save the lambs’ headline we’ve thought of.

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