It’s exactly a week till Santa spills his sack, and it’s time for all mountain bikers to get ready for the big day. Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean turbo training through the Queen’s speech it’s more a list of all those Christmas essentials that a mountain bike makes much easier.
1/ Making room for turkey.
Mountain biking is one of the best calorie burning exercises and the cold, mud and snow of winter make it even better for making room for roast spuds and stuffing. We reckon a couple of good paced 1-2 hour rides will burn off enough calories for a big plate of seconds and pud without worrying your waistline.
2/ Cracker pulling.
Compared to road riding and running mountainbiking makes much more use of your arms, meanig it’s you that ends up with the party hat every time.
3/ Pulling a cracker.
Don’t forget that athletically honed body of yours will also look a lot better option to seasonally sozzled smoochers at the Christmas party. OK so maybe that’s pushing it, but think how bad you’d look without that extra workout every week.
4/ Kissing the granny.
It’s never a nice experience but at least being used to face fulls of mud, moss and shrubbery means the moustaches of elderly female relatives will be more bearable.
5/ Hunting for holly.
What better excuse for riding the local singletrack than gathering essential holly for decking the halls with.
6/ Make use of that ‘lovely’ sweater.
Val Doonican wouldn’t approve but those pastel sweaters from aunty are lovely and soft for polishing winter grime off frames. Just make sure she doesn’t catch you doing it straight away.
7/ Eating the last chocolates in the box.
There’s always some hideous strawberry, peach melba and absinthe liquer lurking in the corner of the selection box after Boxing day. You’d never touch them normally but when your desperate on that last leg of January jaunt any sort of sugar will be welcome.
8/ Virtual reindeer.
Worried your kids don’t believe anymore? Simply come back from your night ride on Christmas eve and the assorted clanking and panting should convince them something strange is going on. Add to that the genuine filthy
footprints, smell of sweaty reindeer and the fact all the mince pies are missing and they’ll be true believers in the morning.
9/ Proper stockings.
Don’t faff around with sordid little socks. Get a proper pair of Powerstretch tights hung off your bed board and Santa will be stuffing them for hours without getting to the top.
10/ Who needs a sledge!
Finally, why bother waiting for snow and dragging a few planks of wood about when you can have far more downhill thrills on a bike whether you get a white Christmas or not.