Miami police bust bell-less biker

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Miami police arrested Jamaine Lamont Pace for riding without a bell or horn in contravention to local traffic safety regulations.


The Police commented “Pace was apparently “up to no good,” and in arresting him for the bicycle bell offence the officer had simply used a tool at his disposal.” However the American Civil Liberties Union said it was concerned police could be empowered under the initiative to arrest people and come up with a reason afterward. “What they are encouraging people to do is to remove people they believe to be criminals from the streets and come up with a reason for it,” said Randall Marshall, legal director of the Florida branch of the ACLU.


Rumours that the officer in question is being flown to this country to recieve an honorary medal for diligence and a pair of ceremonial red socks by the Ramblers assosciation are as yet unconfirmed.


Of course it will be no suprise to Ramblers and other right minded upstanding folk that this bell-less deviant was apparently a hardened criminal with previous “form” for drugs offences. “You see Mildred, they’re all just criminals and hooligans, they’re right to lock them up” said one startled pedestrian we haven’t interviewd yet.

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