Introducing: Steve 'The Butcher' Walker

Steve Walker, or The Butcher as he’s better known, is a name that you may or may not be familiar with. The Butcher is a contributor to Dirt Magazine and a man who knows his bikes.

A self-confessed ‘bike junkie’, The Butcher (he’s a butcher by the way) isn’t a pro rider, he’s a representative of the everyday bike rider, just with a little more motivation than most of us can muster.

Steve Walker.Photo © Duncan Philpott.
Steve Walker on an assignment for Dirt Magazine.
Photo © Duncan Philpott.

The Butcher rides and races all sorts of bikes, from cyclo cross to downhill and absolutely everything in-between. You had better get used to the name and his unique approach to bike journalism as he’s about to become a regular fixture here on Bike Magic.

We’ll let Steve do the talking:

GUESS WHO?

Words: Steve ‘The Butcher’ Walker

Do any of us really know who we are? It’s taken me forty years to get to this stage in my life and yet I still question who I am, what my purpose is and why I used to (and still do) listen to Chaz and Dave and Micheal Bolton.

I do know one thing, that being I love riding bikes. Any sort of bike. Everything I do is based around riding a bi-cy-cle. If I couldn’t ride, I’d probably die (probably from being forced into listening to Micheal Bolton constantly).

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike

I’m as close to a pro bike rider, who isn’t a pro bike rider (because I’m not good enough) as it gets. In other words I ride a lot.

On a Monday I usually do 2 hours XC.

On a Tuesday I don’t ride at all. Instead I either watch a Disney movie or listen to Celine Dion (who’s the female version of Micheal Bolton).

Wednesday is a busy day for ‘bike riding’. It usually consists of a couple of hours of ‘flat out’ XC and then a night time session down the B.M.X track (Birmingham B.M.X. is floodlit), followed by at least a couple of banana milk shakes, a snickers bar and a child’s portion of pick and mix. Wednesday is my favourite day of the week (usually because of the pick and mix).

I struggle to walk on a Thursday. This is either because of withdrawal symptoms from the sugar rush of the night before, or I’ve crashed trying to keep up with the kids down the B.M.X track (who I actually have conversations with as though I’m a teenager). They bang on to me about nightclubs, dance music and alcopops (whatever the **** they are). I listen intently to their stories about dance music and I realise how old I actually am. Ironically they probably don’t even know who Micheal Bolton is and the cool kids would be sick on me if I played one of his tracks.

Friday is TURBO day. It’s for building POWER! To be honest turbo training is as anal as it gets, but it’s a must if you race Cyclo cross or XC. I don’t look forward to turbo training, but at the end of the day our Micheal gets me through it (as he’s my soul provider).

Saturday is my money day. The daytime is all about bacon, sausage and chicken fillets. The night time is about consuming as much ‘junk food’ as I can. After riding all week, sticking to the slimming world programme that my annoyingly healthy wife makes me adhere to throughout the week, by Saturday night I am like a junk food junkie. Finally after hours of gorging, I usually curl up on the couch and metamorphose into Jabba the hut. Just picture it, a big fat worm like creature that’s ginger to boot. It isn’t pretty I tell ya…

My wife (Kate) is a Roman Catholic. My kids (Grace and Amelie) both go to a Catholic school. Roman Catholic’s are big on religion and like to support the men of the cloth, so, Sunday is a BIG day for those boys. I show my support to the people who have ‘the faith’ so to speak, by going bike racing! I don’t care what kind of a race it is, as long as there aint any preachers there and the background music is either soft rock or at least one or two songs from Chaz and Dave. Where I finish is of no importance to me, I just like bike racing. Every bike race is like a mini adventure. Adventure is out there, you just ‘gotta’ go find it.

Keep on dreaming

I do and so should you. I always dreamed of writing for a bike magazine and if honest my dream came true partly by chance and partly by being a pestering, over enthusiastic idiot. I failed English language and literature at school and yet here I am writing for the best mountain bike magazine on the planet (DIRT) and hoping to be a regular contributor on this ‘ere’ site BIKEMAGIC. I’ll be doing bike tests (as I’m a bike addict), race reports, regular features and soft rock music reviews. I will not be using big words like photosynthesis or Mississippi (as I said before I failed English) but I will be using words like ‘IT’, ‘RAD’ or ‘DUDE’ as I know what they mean and hopefully you do. This way you won’t need a dictionary beside you every time you log on.

The whole truth and nothing but the truth

That’s what you’ll get, nothing more and nothing less. If I do know one thing about myself it is that I am not a sell out. I’m in this game for the working man and I realise that spending your hard earned dollar wisely and on the right product is important. If a bike is shit, I’ll say its shit. You know what I mean, dudes?

For god sake, let the bastard cat out of the bag

Even after writing this (little self indulgent) piece, I still don’t know who I really am and I don’t suppose you do (or really care) either. But what I will say is I’m here for you. If you’re a fellow bike rider/racer and you want to know about this bike, that bike, or tell me what your favourite bike/discipline is, please get in touch. Just don’t ask me to go to church on Sunday.

‘Butch’

Dirt Magazine / Bike Magic contributor.

Married (happily at last), father of two, butcher, baker, but never a candlestick maker.

Stevethebutcher1972@gmail.com

  1. Si Paton

    You gotta love the Butcher. He’ll ride any bike flat out. The kids down the BMX track love him because he can manual the whole first straight, sweet! I love him because if your lucky enough to go riding with him you’ll have the best day of your life. Good job he lives down the road from me! Stay Unclipped..

  2. Foz

    Great bloke and got some great words if you need anything testing the butcher is your man for a good write up

  3. Steve Hardwick

    Nice one Steve, looking forward to your future ramblings. One of these days (20 years later) we WILL go for a ride on some sort of peddle powered contraption.

  4. Luke

    With a introduction like that I cant wait for your first rad review!!!, As most reviews are done by guys who only ride the bike for the length of photo shoot!! Looking forward to your first contribution.

  5. Cara

    Ah the legend – the butcher! Certainly the words of a well ridden and pretty ‘rad’ bloke- in the path of finding who we are all that matters is knowkng that riding a bi-cy-cle is the path to be on!!! Love n peas!

  6. chris-m

    I’ve known Steve for about 5 years now. He’s a nice guy that speaks his mind and he’s a man that goes through bikes like he does his chocolate milk!
    .
    He likes his cross bikes and the occasional race series and from a distance, you’d think he were Scottish with the amount of ginger hair he has.
    .
    His bikes vary quite dramatically from super light race bikes, to big trail bikes and there was even a Santa Cruz Nomad in there too. Nice bike that was!
    .
    The thing that always made me like him, was the stories he tells and the down-to-Earth attitude he has. It’s not hard to like Steve, but it’s also hard to get rid of him too. Only joking, Steve!! He is fussy though, so he’ll let you know if something isn’t quite right.

  7. XC Neil

    Butcher your looking lean now on all these pics i keep seeing of ya, good to see your clipping in too.

    I thought you might of put your best tubs in for the photo !?! and shave your legs but small steps i suppose as your getting there ;)

  8. Swainy

    Steve walker, the only man who can get away with running full lycra and a ginger beard. all round rare man and bike/sausage specialist.. keep up the good work brother.

  9. Moley

    “Butch” is an amazing guy,very funny, very honest and very knowledgeable but I’m also wondering who is he?
    Gone are the days when the only words from his mouth were about selling as much meat as he could to me on a Saturday morning, well actually it was more like how much bacon and sausage I could get for a set of old brakes. He would also talk of his many crusades on his downhill bike, the many 4cross races he had rode, the bmx sections he had “nailed”.

    Now he has turned 40 I’m seeing a renewed enthusiasm for CX racing and XC mountain biking. Then I read in this introduction words like “almost a pro” and “turbo POWER session” its all a bit strange……but great at the same time his enjoyment of the sport just doesn’t seem to end.
    By the way I think the XC racer is coming out in him a little too much, as he recently purchased a skin-suit, Oh boy, he is going to kill me for that one!

    “Butch” has amazing handling skills no matter what bike he is riding or the discipline, which is then further backed up by his knowledge of how the bike handles or should be handling, its a joy to ride with him and he has taught me so much recently.

    When Butch has to review an event can you please make sure he competes in it as well, as he just loves to suffer whether its for 40 seconds on a bmx track or for 2 hours in a mountain bike event and I’m sure it will make for a much better article.

    Great picture buy the way – is the CX bike up for sale?

    Could you also put me two lamb shanks away for Saturday please?

  10. serge the seal of death

    with an intro like that you will fit in extreamly well to Bike magic, where things are kept more on the fun and casual side of things

  11. James McKnight

    I’m looking forward to some more content like this!

  12. Stanton

    Butch, the man, The legend! I always love reading your stuff Butch, always makes me laugh! I sincerely look forward to reading your bike magic contributions mate.
    Congrats.

  13. Carbon Junkie

    With all these comments above reads like the butcher fan club, do we get badges & stickers?….as for reading the words “Butch” and “skinsuit” in the same sentence, well i think i just sicked in my mouth.
    Problem is he’s so encouragable you can’t help but be enthusiastic about whatever the next genre of biking he’s into, whether its D/H, 4X, Trail, AM, XC, 29,26, dare i say it 650b? His latest addiction being CX the chap’s nearly convinced me to buy one, thats the problem with this guy he could sell sand to the arabs, but at least he will tell you if the sand is shit, or great!
    Not sure about you but after all the researching before buying my next steed (running into a ridiculous amount over the years) my purchasing decisions have been heavily biased by reviews, always taking them with a pinch of salt.
    At least with your reviews we should have truth from the horses mouth….at least you dont add that to your mince!
    Hell he wont admit it he even has a carbon fetish like me, look at that 1st photo its a carbon CX Lapierre!! (if you look closely behind that ginger beard hes foaming at the mouth slightly)

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